Tell her she can't have a vagina
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
