It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Randomize
