did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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