I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Enjoy the penises
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
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