I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
