we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize