A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Randomize
