i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Randomize
