he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
The uberlube is also flammable
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Randomize
