She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
