Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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