I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
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