Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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