This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Randomize
