it's too hot outside to masturbate.
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Randomize
