i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
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