My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
