I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Randomize
