wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
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