I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Randomize