I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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