but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
