I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize
