that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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