dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Randomize
