just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
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