I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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