This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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