worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Randomize