Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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