Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
