we have pet lesbian snakes
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize