thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I will be naked everywhere
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
