Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
