Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
