a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
