You're my little dorito
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Randomize
