I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
