you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
They took my balls.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
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