have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
