Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
