He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Randomize
