Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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