fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
