did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Randomize
