I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
