I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Randomize
