i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
