i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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