it was like eating out sand paper
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Randomize
