oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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