I think scott just propositioned me for sex
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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