i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
God I need to hump something, right now.
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