I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Randomize
