Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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