This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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