You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
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