I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Randomize
