Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
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