Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
